Oil and Water

 

Students, like any other people, can get reputations. Sometimes good, but most times not so good. Sometimes students excel in certain enviornments and in others, not so much. Sometimes students that are labeled 'behavior problems' can be seen as exceling or growing...just because administrators aren't getting calls about them. There are many layers to student/teacher relationships and it is extremely hard to judge from the 'outside looking in.'

One day I had the door open to get some ventilation in room 304. It is an old, stuffy room that gets too hot and too cold. Add twenty-six 11 year olds, post physical education and you can imagine what the smells could get like.

I suddenly heard a loud noise, screaming, cursing, etc. I came into the hallway and saw a shorter student...screaming and swinging his arms wildly, trying to punch the taller student. I immediately came out and raised my voice to try to shock the two students, but when I realized that there were two teachers and two members of our wellness team there, I went back to my room.

The smaller, angry student has had a reputation for being a 'behavior problem'. He had tried to harm a teacher at one point during his elementary school career and had gotten into a number of fights at school. I always liked the student (in our short interactions), but I figured he was troubled.

He was in the class of one of my grade level partners last year and there didn't seem to be a lot of issues in the class. I got the impression that he wasn't a student to 'push' as he may push back...and no one wanted that.

Apparently his placement this year, initially, was a lot like oil and water. He didn't mesh with his teacher and there were many conflicts that happened (including the fight). He wasn't completing a lot of work and had a tendency to search the web without ever following the task at hand.

Krystal reached out to me as she thought the student might need to switch classes. The situation had reached the boiling point and there was no going back. I was asked if I wanted to move one of my current students out of the class to get to the magic number of twenty-six (not twenty-seven). I said, 'Absolutely not. They are my kids and I would never move them to an unfamiliar class at this time of year.' So, it was decided I would have a roster of twenty-seven and I would move him to my class the next school day (Monday). I asked to have him come visit my class, but only after I had an opportunity to explain to my class why he was coming and to stress that the moment that any student walks through the doorway of room 304, they are a part of the family.

I spoke to the class and they were all supportive (a few students actually clapped) and when he came to the room with Dave, I pulled him aside outside for a moment. I said, 'I know you have had your problems, but this is a fresh start. I want you to do the two things we always do in this class, 'Work hard and be kind. If you do that, we will be good.' I explained that I don't scream and yell, but there are expectations in class and if he doesn't follow them, I will reach out to his mom.

He shook his head. I asked, 'Are you excited?' and he said, 'Yes!'

A few days later, I saw him online where he wasn't supposed to be. I pulled him aside and asked him why he was doing what he was doing. 'Are you bored?' I asked. He shook his head. 'Is it too hard?' I asked. He shook his head again. He then admitted to me that he has esentially gotten away without doing any work for over two years. It seems everyone was so afraid of him that they just let him do what he wanted to do.

I explained that you don't learn anything unless you try. I said, 'I don't care if you get every problem wrong. I just want you to try.' His eyes widened. 'Yes, really.' I said. 'JUST. TRY.' He went back to his seat and tried.

Does he try to get away with stuff that he shouldn't be doing? Absolutely. Does he TRY? Absolutely. Is he 'behind' where he should be at this point? Absolutely. 

Has he gotten into fights or created unsafe disturbances? Absolutely not.

He is a misunderstood kid with some trauma he is trying to work through. Thankfully, he has found someone that he meshes with a little better than oil and water.

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